Saturday 9th August, Lord C reports...

Janet says I have to write a blog or she won't let me put her suntan lotion on again. I'm sitting here in the shade at the far end of our balcony looking out on the Prom at Cannes. It's a perfect position apart from the fact that it's too far away to hear the doorbell to our suite! The balcony is very nice but it would benefit from a small lawn and perhaps a vegetable patch. We went to Cannes harbour on the tender this morning to look at the boats. Most of them were the sort that if you kept them in a boathouse you would have to have a zip instead of a door. It as really really hot so after a short walk we got the tender back to the sea breeze on our ship. We are surrounded by posh yachts that it must be impossible to acquire without some seriously dishonest toil. I'm not really jealous but I hope there is a special place in Hell reserved for the owner of the one opposite with a small helicopter parked on the back. Somewhere between the mime artists and the accordian players would be nice.