Dirty Dancing

We arrived early for the show and caught the end of the line dancing. Yeeee Haaa. The large and overtly gay instructor was drilling his charges. "Men to the left and ladies to the right" he ordered "Decide if you want to be a man or a woman". That's two people on the ship who don't understand irony.

Bumping their way through the line dance were two of the ship's Gigolos or 'Dance Partners' as they are officially known. These men are employed by Fred Olsen to dance with unaccompanied ladies (No I'm not kidding). They are very very old, unless of course they have all been prematurely aged by the rigours of their jobs. They hobble round the floor, their artificial joints clicking in time to the music. In the spotlights their skin appears stretched tight with too much aftershave or possibly embalming fluid. Julie reckons one of them doubles up as a model for the morning arthritis seminar.

I can't help it, there are things I need to know. Do they give extras that can be charged to your shipboard account, and what does it say on the bill. Do these extras cost more if they leave their teeth in. If they take a lady back to their cabin, before they get a glimpse of surgical stocking, does the Health & Safety Officer insist they explain how their defibrilator works?

I can't get these images out of my mind, perhaps if I just have another drink...

(Dave C)